run on sentence

...and you know i just spent the last hour looking through your photographs, right, and the thing that i saw that for whatever reason immediately struck me was that we both have photographs of jeff and betsy making out which is creepy, like for some reason watching that couple kiss makes us both want to grab our cameras...

beer tube

i don't think this is an isolated incident. in central pennsylvania, at a certain bowling alley, which shall not be named (mostly because i do not remember the name and also because dan will tell me in the comments section), they sell beer in a tube. draft beer in a clear plastic tube with a little spigot on the bottom. it makes me so happy to know that there is someone out there who heeded america's call for taller, narrower beer dispensers. 

now i'm reading this book called deep economy about how maybe we shouldn't measure the success of our societies by their economic growth, because this focus on growth results in the overproduction of goods that a) use resources that can be better applied and b) don't make our lives any better. bill mckibben is the author and i agree with him in theory, right, but something tells me that he would not support the production of beer tubes and i am not sure i could bear to return to a world where beer in bowling alleys is served only in pitchers. 

(but wait, oh, i just had a revelation! isn't a pitcher just stouter kind of tube? and a cup too? oh jason and dave at beertubes.com, what do you take me for?)

the tomatoes are green

do you know when you have a garden and then all of a sudden it is like winter out and you realize that your tomatoes will never ripen and you get kinda sad about it and wonder whether there is something that you can do with them besides fry them? well, i know about that feeling, so i brainstormed and researched and came up with this recipe that i enjoy:

nate's dan quayle green tomatoe sauce:

5-6 lbs. green tomatoes

1 cup white wine

1/4 cup olive oil

3-4 tbsp. (non-iodized) salt

1 tbsp. cane sugar (to cut the tartness)

5 large cloves garlic

handful fresh oregano and thyme

3-4 tbsp. whole green peppercorns

5 bay leaves

core the tomatoes and slice them into quarters, put them in a large pot with the wine and oil and salt and set to simmer for 30 minutes. 

dice the garlic and fresh herbs and add them along with the remaining ingredients to the pot and allow to simmer for 1-2 hours.

after simmering the sauce, i mashed the tomato chunks with a large wire whisk. it was tedious and resulted in a chunkier sauce (which i like anyway), but a food processor would be a better option for a smoother sauce.

serve or freeze! (i plan on serving the sauce on squid ink pasta with romano cheese and garnished abundantly with fresh minced parsley. black and green sounds like an intriguing combination.)

have tres leches - will travel

despite a crippling inability to absorb other languages, i was fortunately able to piece together that tres leches means three milks. and milks is what i want to talk to you about today.

now i like desserts probably more than you do, and my philosophy with regard to them tends toward moderation on the consumption side and not on the preparation side. (consumption-side dessertonomics?)(and i am sorry to joke about consumption, tuberculosis is no laughing matter. it is a coughing matter.) 

anyway, i decided to make tres leches for gallagher's taco party. here are things you might want to take into consideration if you find yourself in a similar situation:

1) if you ever think you'll want to eat tres leches in the future, don't prepare it. don't even look at a recipe. that is too much milks.

2) if you are planning on riding your bicycle to the party, ha. you didn't think that through very well, did you?

3) oh yeah? you have a car? you gonna swallow your environmentalist pride and drive it to the party? cool. now your cake has turned into a milk wave pool. 

next time i'm bringing some fucking flan.

for your listening pleasure

i made this song about working on a tv show.

i can't make music and it is a whole bunch of nonsense. enjoy!

choose my career!

so look, i'm a 27 year old unmarried white male with a b.a. from an elite liberal arts college that nobody has heard of. i live in portland, oregon. i am interested in processes.

in december i will turn 28 and i think i should have a career. my friends seem to be heading towards careers. like benny will be a professor and arijit will be, um, a professor too. or work in a non-profit. or maybe for a government agency. dan will be the host of a japanese game show. elspeth will be a production designer. i feel like other people are focusing their interests and mine just keep expanding. for instance: yeah, so i want to fix that moped up and oh, i wonder if my landlord will let me have chickens. where can i take a bicycle frame building class? 

so i am going to put this to a vote, here are my options as i see them:

1) lawyer (look dad, i put this one first.)

2) artist (look dad, i put this one second.)

3) elected official

4) guy who calls you periodically and asks for work

5) restauranteur (like i know anything about that)

6) ___________

post your compelling arguments in the comments section.

(extra credit: which of those options am i at the moment?)

(double extra credit: if you choose artist, what kind of artist should i be?)

(did you ever read those choose your own adventure books? this is more like a choose that guy's adventure book. that guy being me. the book being a blog. adventure being the most mundane bullshit ever. look, i tried to make this interesting. i do this all for you, all of this! what more do you want from me? oh quit my excruciatingly self-aware sniveling? never!)

i love gravy

i just invented this vegetarian gravy, or anyway, i made it.

1/2 lb. chantrelle mushrooms

2 tbsp. butter

saute the mushrooms in the butter. dice two of the cooked mushrooms and put them back in the pan with the leftover butter.  (set the rest aside. yum, chantrelles). 

with the heat on medium, add to the pan:

1 oz. bragg's liquid aminos

7 oz. water

1 tbsp. maple syrup

1 tbsp. cider vinegar

1 bay leaf

sprinkle in slowly (mixing vigorously to avoid clumping):

2 tbsp. flour

season with:

dash oregano

dash thyme

dash rosemary

oh man!

i poured it on garlic mashed potatoes served on steamed brussel sprout greens. garnished with arugula flowers.