oh newt

so i watched newt gingrich on the daily show the other day, right, and it struck me that he will just say things, regardless of whether they're true or not, if they serve to prove a point he is trying to make. to wit (and pointed out on TPMmuckraker and whitehouse.gov), gingrich states (very confidently) that richard reid, the shoe-bomber, was read his miranda rights during the bush administration because he was an american citizen. that is false. it is ok to be wrong sometimes, but it is not ok to be wrong when the validity of the point you are making (the obama administration is radical for reading umar farouk abdulmutallab, the underwer bomber, his miranda rights) is contingent on the false "facts" you are presenting (the bush administration also read the shoe bomber his miranda rights, but only because he was an american citizen).

also brought up by gingrich was the infamous quirin case of 1942, in which 13 nazi saboteurs were given military tribunals and executed by the roosevelt administration. the problem with using that case as a precedent (which the bush administration did when they suspended habeas corpus for detainees), was that at least one of the saboteurs was an american citizen and at least two of them had no plans of attacking the united states and acted to turn themselves in to the FBI. in fact, it is likely that many of the saboteurs were using the clandestine nazi mission to repatriate themselves to the united states. there is a fascinating "this american life" episode about the case and the events leading up to it, found here (one of the most amazing and heart wrenching stories i have ever heard). gingrich uses this as an example of a president (and a liberal at that!), taking swift action to ensure the safety of his country. nevermind the fact that his swift action was morally abominable and that he was on the wrong side of history.

now, and this really pisses me off, the obama administration has changed NONE OF THE FUCKING PROTOCOL FOR HOLDING AND TRYING DETAINEES! so not only is the obama administration shitting the bed in terms of human rights, but gingrich is either ignorant of this important position, or so focused on bringing the obama white house down that he is ignoring the facts.

and lastly (according to his wikipedia entry), gingrich is a former history professor whose area of expertise is modern european history. he also once taught a class entitled "renewing american civilization". i don't know many history professors who can be successful when they are so glaringly wrong (and apparently utterly unconcerned about a factual understanding of their areas of expertise), but maybe that's why he went into politics.

questions for the late pope

dear pope john paul,

please disregard the fact that you are dead. please also understand that i am writing to you because i am still feeling a little bit uneasy about pope benedict's ties to nazi germany, although everyone makes a point of stressing the fact that he was unenthusiastic about the whole affair. anyway, i am more comfortable talking to you.

well, i got to thinking the other day about the catholic position on birth control and i know you have a very clear, zero-tolerance position on contraception, but so what i was wondering was whether or not it would be alright to poke holes in condoms and then use them? because that would make them totally ineffective and then you aren't engaging in any form of birth control. do you see where i'm going with this?

oh and i was also curious who transsexual people can and can't marry. can they marry either sex? neither? or only other transsexual people?

so i guess you probably won't get back to me for a little while, but i just wanted to thank you in advance for taking the time to answer my questions. or if it is god who is answering through you or whatever, thank him too. he seems like a good guy.

sincerely,

n

hey

hey nbc: if i could say that you're replacing the new guard with the old guard, i would, but that wouldn't be true so instead i'll say you're replacing an innovator with a tired purveyor of mindless schlock. 

hey massachussets: scott brown is no prize, but martha coakley didn't deserve it. health care reform will pass and you'll have an opportunity to replace brown in a few short years. (2012). and haven't you heard that axiom, that you get the government you deserve?

hey democrats: pass health care reform.

always have been, always not anymore

just when you think you're an apple fritter man, just when you feel confident in elevating that heavenly mound of dough above all others, you will discover the marion berry fritter. glorious be the tulip bakery!

run on sentence

...and you know i just spent the last hour looking through your photographs, right, and the thing that i saw that for whatever reason immediately struck me was that we both have photographs of jeff and betsy making out which is creepy, like for some reason watching that couple kiss makes us both want to grab our cameras...

beer tube

i don't think this is an isolated incident. in central pennsylvania, at a certain bowling alley, which shall not be named (mostly because i do not remember the name and also because dan will tell me in the comments section), they sell beer in a tube. draft beer in a clear plastic tube with a little spigot on the bottom. it makes me so happy to know that there is someone out there who heeded america's call for taller, narrower beer dispensers. 

now i'm reading this book called deep economy about how maybe we shouldn't measure the success of our societies by their economic growth, because this focus on growth results in the overproduction of goods that a) use resources that can be better applied and b) don't make our lives any better. bill mckibben is the author and i agree with him in theory, right, but something tells me that he would not support the production of beer tubes and i am not sure i could bear to return to a world where beer in bowling alleys is served only in pitchers. 

(but wait, oh, i just had a revelation! isn't a pitcher just stouter kind of tube? and a cup too? oh jason and dave at beertubes.com, what do you take me for?)

the tomatoes are green

do you know when you have a garden and then all of a sudden it is like winter out and you realize that your tomatoes will never ripen and you get kinda sad about it and wonder whether there is something that you can do with them besides fry them? well, i know about that feeling, so i brainstormed and researched and came up with this recipe that i enjoy:

nate's dan quayle green tomatoe sauce:

5-6 lbs. green tomatoes

1 cup white wine

1/4 cup olive oil

3-4 tbsp. (non-iodized) salt

1 tbsp. cane sugar (to cut the tartness)

5 large cloves garlic

handful fresh oregano and thyme

3-4 tbsp. whole green peppercorns

5 bay leaves

core the tomatoes and slice them into quarters, put them in a large pot with the wine and oil and salt and set to simmer for 30 minutes. 

dice the garlic and fresh herbs and add them along with the remaining ingredients to the pot and allow to simmer for 1-2 hours.

after simmering the sauce, i mashed the tomato chunks with a large wire whisk. it was tedious and resulted in a chunkier sauce (which i like anyway), but a food processor would be a better option for a smoother sauce.

serve or freeze! (i plan on serving the sauce on squid ink pasta with romano cheese and garnished abundantly with fresh minced parsley. black and green sounds like an intriguing combination.)