new clothes, no emperor

so i will start first things first and then move to third things second before skipping my way gleefully back to the second thing last. 

just kidding.

god it was hot back a couple of weeks ago and i decided i needed something to wear to mike's wedding, so i was walking purposefully around downtown with my dad during market days in concord. (market days is when all the stores on main street put all their goods on the sidewalk for three or four days and there are bison burgers and real new hampshire maple syrup and dunking booths.) but there is this place on main street called "britches of concord" and they sell sort of middle-aged northeastern men's clothing, which, incidentally, was pretty much exactly what i was looking for. you see... nevermind. i wanted a white blazer. whatever.

so i was in this store and i was smiling at the owner, ray and asking him how to put on an ascot and if he had any white blazers and i don't think he took me very seriously and i was on the way out the door when i was like "that is a white blazer, right there on that mannequin". do you know why i was like that? because it was true. but it was a full suit. and ray told me that if it was my size he would give me 20% off so i went in the dressing room to try on the pants to see how much they needed to be taken in. 

i undid my belt and my pants button and my shorts dropped to the floor, first of all, earlier, my dad and ray had gotten a big chuckle out of my cutoff shorts, but i can't remember why. anyway, my shorts pooled at my ankles and i realized that i was naked as the day i was made. it was hot, you see, so i was underwearless. and about to try on white linen pants. i had to make a snap decision, do i beg off an tell dad and ray i don't have underwear on and that i'll come back, or do i waltz out of the dressing room in a pair of baggy white linen pants barely holding onto my hips and let some poor guy grab at my waistband to figure out the appropriate alterations...?

what do you think.