little-known health insurance reform facts

there has been to-do made recently about the democrats efforts to reform the health insurance industry, but many americans do not know how the proposed reforms will affect them. to help clear things up, i have compiled a list of the key elements of "obamacare":

- insurance companies will be required to insure those with the preexisting human condition.

- taxpayer money will be used to subsidize "obamabortions".

- in order to keep costs down, your in-network doctors will all be high-school biology students.

- under the new "compulsory sponsorship of an illegal immigrant" system, each health insurance customer, in addition to their own insurance costs, will pay for "the regular doctor's visits and necessary and elective procedures of an illegal immigrant" and they will also receive a photograph and letter of thanks (in spanish), from their sponsoree. 

- all STD tests will be performed on semen/vaginal secretion samples mailed directly to rick santorum

whether or not these reforms will bring about the sweeping change promised by barack hussein obama is unclear.

oh newt

so i watched newt gingrich on the daily show the other day, right, and it struck me that he will just say things, regardless of whether they're true or not, if they serve to prove a point he is trying to make. to wit (and pointed out on TPMmuckraker and whitehouse.gov), gingrich states (very confidently) that richard reid, the shoe-bomber, was read his miranda rights during the bush administration because he was an american citizen. that is false. it is ok to be wrong sometimes, but it is not ok to be wrong when the validity of the point you are making (the obama administration is radical for reading umar farouk abdulmutallab, the underwer bomber, his miranda rights) is contingent on the false "facts" you are presenting (the bush administration also read the shoe bomber his miranda rights, but only because he was an american citizen).

also brought up by gingrich was the infamous quirin case of 1942, in which 13 nazi saboteurs were given military tribunals and executed by the roosevelt administration. the problem with using that case as a precedent (which the bush administration did when they suspended habeas corpus for detainees), was that at least one of the saboteurs was an american citizen and at least two of them had no plans of attacking the united states and acted to turn themselves in to the FBI. in fact, it is likely that many of the saboteurs were using the clandestine nazi mission to repatriate themselves to the united states. there is a fascinating "this american life" episode about the case and the events leading up to it, found here (one of the most amazing and heart wrenching stories i have ever heard). gingrich uses this as an example of a president (and a liberal at that!), taking swift action to ensure the safety of his country. nevermind the fact that his swift action was morally abominable and that he was on the wrong side of history.

now, and this really pisses me off, the obama administration has changed NONE OF THE FUCKING PROTOCOL FOR HOLDING AND TRYING DETAINEES! so not only is the obama administration shitting the bed in terms of human rights, but gingrich is either ignorant of this important position, or so focused on bringing the obama white house down that he is ignoring the facts.

and lastly (according to his wikipedia entry), gingrich is a former history professor whose area of expertise is modern european history. he also once taught a class entitled "renewing american civilization". i don't know many history professors who can be successful when they are so glaringly wrong (and apparently utterly unconcerned about a factual understanding of their areas of expertise), but maybe that's why he went into politics.

questions for the late pope

dear pope john paul,

please disregard the fact that you are dead. please also understand that i am writing to you because i am still feeling a little bit uneasy about pope benedict's ties to nazi germany, although everyone makes a point of stressing the fact that he was unenthusiastic about the whole affair. anyway, i am more comfortable talking to you.

well, i got to thinking the other day about the catholic position on birth control and i know you have a very clear, zero-tolerance position on contraception, but so what i was wondering was whether or not it would be alright to poke holes in condoms and then use them? because that would make them totally ineffective and then you aren't engaging in any form of birth control. do you see where i'm going with this?

oh and i was also curious who transsexual people can and can't marry. can they marry either sex? neither? or only other transsexual people?

so i guess you probably won't get back to me for a little while, but i just wanted to thank you in advance for taking the time to answer my questions. or if it is god who is answering through you or whatever, thank him too. he seems like a good guy.

sincerely,

n