(now before you get all "they aren't hardly unrelated because all humans' DNA is 99.9% the same and so wade boggs is more closely related to jesus than he is to his 1983 topps rookie card ($17.95, near mint) and blah blah blah..." i wasn't like trying to identify the most dissimilar things i could think of, so back off and stop interrupting me, or i'll never get to my point.)
anyway, i was quick to make the obvious connections between jesus and wade boggs, being that they both are said to have done things that no ordinary human is capable of. (though, to my mind, wade boggs drinking 32 or 36 beers on a cross-country flight and willing himself invisible during a knife fight at a night club are the more believable of the feats ascribed to each figure. after all, the man won 5 batting titles and was notoriously compulsive about his routines, waking up at precisely the same time every day, eating fried chicken before every game and starting his windsprints exactly 7 minutes and 17 seconds before the first pitch. i am willing to give a person like that the benefit of the doubt.)
oh, and also they are both known for their superstitions. jesus believed that there was a god who was all-knowing and also that he was this god's son, and wade boggs believed that his success hitting a ball made of horse skin would continue only if he hit the same number of balls on the ground during practice every day. i guess those two are kindred spirits, no wonder they both popped into my brain.
oh wade boggs also played in the longest professional baseball game in history, a minor league game that lasted 33 innings. he went 4-for-12 (in a game that also saw cal ripken come to the plate 15 times). before it was suspended in the 32nd inning (at 4 AM), 19 people were left in the stands. i bet this put a damper on his wake-up routine.
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